What a strange time.
My mother is increasingly confused and her memory is slipping away day by day, it seems. She recently had another small stroke--not enough to incapacitate her--just enough to take another piece of her functioning. She's having a series of these.
She is forgetting people she knows well, forgetting to eat, forgetting what day it is. Sunday she was quite distressed about this, knowing it was happening to her, but powerless to do anything about the fog in which she was enveloped. She said to me, "Something has happened to my mind. I am just blank." I explained what was happening, as simply as I could, but in about 3 minutes she said again, "Something is happening to my mind."
A very sad time, and a waiting time. Will she improve (she has in the past) or will she continue to slip away, bit by bit? I'm at home instead of at church because she is very confused this morning. I think I can go soon though. She is out in the sunshine pulling weeds--always a good sign.
A few days ago my pregnant daughter called. She'd just had her second ultra sound, and now we know
It's a girl!
So this little life inside her has a name, Trinity Ann. Mom-to-be laughed happily as she described how the technician would get things set, trying to get good pictures of organs. Then an arm or a leg would flail, and once the baby did a complete flip. The tech told her, "This is a very active little fetus. Get ready for an interesting time with this one!" Daddy had his first experience feeling a "bump" as he placed his hand on my daughter's tummy.
My mother had picked up the other phone, so she heard the conversation. After we hung up, she said, "So a baby is on the way? I didn't know that! Won't that be fun? We will all have the experience of seeing this little one grow." She had forgotten about the pregnancy.
"Yes" I replied. "It will be wonderful to have a little child around. And we will all see her grow up."
Hope springs eternal. My mother still somehow believes she will live forever. And she will--just not here.
It is a strange mix of emotions, this watching life about to begin and life about to end.