Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Some religious humor, courtesy of  Wesleyan Arminian for you philisophical types.  My favorites?  C.S. Lewis and Billy Graham.  The Mark Discoll one, I confess, did make me lol.  Sadly.  I added to the list.  Can you think of any more?  Have a fun day!

Greg Boyd: It’s a possibility that the chicken crossed the road.

Rick Warren: The chicken was purpose driven.

Mark Driscoll: Because of the rooster’s leadership.

Rachel Held Evans: We’re talking about chickens here, not pigs.

Pelagius: Because the chicken was able to.

John Piper: God decreed the event to maximize his glory.

Irenaeus: The glory of God is the chicken fully alive.

C.S. Lewis: If a chicken finds itself with a desire that nothing on this side can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that it was created for the other side.

Billy Graham: The chicken was surrendering all.

Pluralist: The chicken took one of many equally valid roads.

Universalist: All chickens cross the road.

Annihilationist: The chicken was hit by a car and ceased to exist.

Fred Phelps: God hates chickens.

Martin Luther: The chicken was leaving Rome.

Tim LaHaye: The chicken didn’t want to be left behind.

Harold Camping: Don’t count your chickens until they’ve hatched.

James White: I reject chicken-centered eisegesis.

John Wesley: The chicken’s heart was strangely warmed.

John Calvin:  The chicken was predestined to cross the road.

Thomas: I won’t believe the chicken crossed unless I see it with my own eyes.

Philip: The chicken teleported to the other side.

Rob Bell: The chicken. Crossed the road. To get. Cool glasses.

Brennan Manning:  Because God's love was drawing her, dirty feathers and all.

Creflo Dollar:  The blessings and prosperity would only come if the chicken exercised faith and stepped out into the road!