Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Some religious humor, courtesy of  Wesleyan Arminian for you philisophical types.  My favorites?  C.S. Lewis and Billy Graham.  The Mark Discoll one, I confess, did make me lol.  Sadly.  I added to the list.  Can you think of any more?  Have a fun day!

Greg Boyd: It’s a possibility that the chicken crossed the road.

Rick Warren: The chicken was purpose driven.

Mark Driscoll: Because of the rooster’s leadership.

Rachel Held Evans: We’re talking about chickens here, not pigs.

Pelagius: Because the chicken was able to.

John Piper: God decreed the event to maximize his glory.

Irenaeus: The glory of God is the chicken fully alive.

C.S. Lewis: If a chicken finds itself with a desire that nothing on this side can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that it was created for the other side.

Billy Graham: The chicken was surrendering all.

Pluralist: The chicken took one of many equally valid roads.

Universalist: All chickens cross the road.

Annihilationist: The chicken was hit by a car and ceased to exist.

Fred Phelps: God hates chickens.

Martin Luther: The chicken was leaving Rome.

Tim LaHaye: The chicken didn’t want to be left behind.

Harold Camping: Don’t count your chickens until they’ve hatched.

James White: I reject chicken-centered eisegesis.

John Wesley: The chicken’s heart was strangely warmed.

John Calvin:  The chicken was predestined to cross the road.

Thomas: I won’t believe the chicken crossed unless I see it with my own eyes.

Philip: The chicken teleported to the other side.

Rob Bell: The chicken. Crossed the road. To get. Cool glasses.

Brennan Manning:  Because God's love was drawing her, dirty feathers and all.

Creflo Dollar:  The blessings and prosperity would only come if the chicken exercised faith and stepped out into the road!


Darrell Pursiful said...

Love it!

Dorcas (aka SingingOwl) said...

I thought you might enjoy this one. :)

Chris said...

Adore this, Dorcas! Especially the Fred Phelps response...classic!

Good to see you writing again. Wish I could get back into the flow of things...