California Dreamin' Part V -- Memories

People speak of "a flood of memories." It wasn't like that for me last week. Memories came drop by drop.

I could almost feel them like rain sliding off a leaf...slowly dropping into a pool of reflection. They came as smells, sounds, and feelings as well as conscious thoughts. I recalled the confused girl I was when I was growing up in the San Fernando Valley. I loved God, and I wanted abundant life. Longing to be useful, I was also afraid and shy and believed I had no real future. I felt that longing once again, and I felt freedom as well. The following poem is about the dropping of memories into a pool that is my life. I could see the girl that was me as I sat on the rail fence in front of my home, dreaming about love and life and wondering what would happen to me. Uncertainty loomed in my family, never far away. Confusion and lonliness and anger were constant companions...right along with faith. Thank God that freedom and light CAN come! Where would I be without God's amazing grace? I do not really want to know.

Memory Drops

Drop...by...drop
s l o w s l i d i n g
or
quick-down-sparkle.
In my mind,
memories crystal bright cloudy.

Drop...by...drop
sisters singing
or
sharing-covers-under.
In my memory
sweet comfort warm joy.

Drop...by...drop
sweet dreams born
or
loss-pain-dreading.
In my memory

questions wonder seldom answers.

Drop..by...drop
hot cold nights
of
hope-not-found.
In my memory
fog fear drifting always.

Drop...by...drop

confusion vine

is

choke-tight-holding

In my memory,

dread lonely family dies.

Drop...by...drop
Freedom calls,
with
words--winks--smiles.
In my memory,
Birth-God answers nearing.

Drop...by...drop
finding ways
to
think-grow-be.
In my memory,
prayers light gleaming learn.

Drop...by...drop
stretching high
and
God-comes-near.
In my memory,
girl woman finding Home.

Drop...by...drop

pictures forming

pool-life-water

and

In my spirit

waiting fully to be known.