Thursday, February 01, 2007

Nah, I'm Just Fine, Thanks

Today is a painful day. Not physically painful. It started as emotional pain. But isn't it "interesting" how emotional distress rather quickly shows up in physical symptoms sometimes? My tears, sadness and (okay, I admit it) anger of this morning rather quickly became a slighty painful and queasy stomach., an achy head and a general feeling of weakness, which has persisted all day, much to my chagrin. I sound like a hypochondriac, it seems! Well, no. I am aware that I am not sick, except "sick at heart."

I am attempting to do what I always tell my parishioners to do. (Pastor, counsel thyself?) That is, I am taking this emotional distress to God, trusting that something good can be made of it.

That is one of the things I love about God. Without faith, pain and misery are just plain old pain and misery. But God can transform these things into good somehow. I am not trying to sound like Pollyanna. I am thinking of the many emotional outbursts of the Psalmists.

Here's a sample. It's one of my favorites, Psalm 42, from the TNIV:

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?" ...

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me...
I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"...

Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Achy bones. Hmmm. That Psalm was written to the music director. How would you like to sing that on Sunday morning? It probably is more honest than some of the songs we do sing.

I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. I will not seek answers so much as I will seek God's heart.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Dorcas,I hope that by the time you read this you are in a better place.As always I am praying for you! your buddy john.